Tiger, Tiger, Tiger!

[F111]

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide
between the iron or the wood.

His wife Elin told police that she went for a rescue wood, but it looks
like she really went for the driver.

Did you hear that he inspired a new Kung Fu movie to be released?
"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant."

Did you make it out of your own driveway safely this morning? Then you
can say that you outdrove Tiger Woods.

Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She's teaching Phil
Mickelson how to beat Tiger.

Did you hear about Tiger's last outing? He drove into a tree, then
ended up with a bad lie.

What kind of club did Elin swing at Tiger? Looks like it was a
bitching wedge.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a
ball 350 yards.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing.

[Sismis]

he he he, it doesn't take long!

[j-mac31]

[Scott]

Tigers Xmas Card

[bunnykev]

What happend when Tiger crashed into the tree?

He turned up some old Roots....

[F111]

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.

He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."

She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year.

[j-mac31]

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.

He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."

She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year.

[DYSON#2]

disgusting rat

[bomberdon]

What's Tiger Woods and a baby seal got in common?

Both been clubbed by Norwegians..

[j-mac31]

Tigers' new ads

[F111]

The Frog and the Golfer...

A man goes out golfing.

He is on the second hole when
He notices a frog sitting next to
The green.

He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."

The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.
Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
He looks at the frog and decides to
Prove the frog wrong, puts the club
Away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom!

He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog,
"Wow that's amazing.

You must be a lucky frog, he?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."

The man decides to take the frog with
Him to the next hole.

"What do you think frog?" the man asks.

"Ribbit 3 wood."

The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom!

Hole in one.

The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say.

By the end of the day, the man golfed
The best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas."

" They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?"

The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."

Upon approaching the roulette table,

The man asks, "What do you think I
Should bet?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.

Boom!
Tons of cash comes sliding back across
The table.


The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.

He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you

You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."

The frog replies,

"Ribbit Kiss Me."

He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it.

With a kiss, the frog turns into a
Gorgeous girl.


"And thatis how the girl ended up in my room Elin.
So help me God or my name is not Tiger Woods."

[2QIK4U]

Q: What's the difference between Santa Klaus and Tiger Woods?
A: Santa stops at three Ho's.

[j-mac31]

Tiger shark spotted off WA coast.

[j-mac31]

The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an Administrative mix up the Pope went to Hell and Tiger Woods went to Heaven. The Pope explains the situation to the Administrative Clerk in Hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error. "However", the Clerk explains, "it will be 24 hours before it can be rectified".

The next day the Pope is called and Hell's staff bids him farewell. On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from heaven and they stop to have a chat.

"Sorry about the mix up", apologises the Pope.

"No problem" replied Tiger Woods.

Pope: "I am really anxious to get to heaven".

Tiger: "Why is that?"

Pope: "All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary".

Tiger: "You're a day late."