Politically Incorrect

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rockhole
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Politically Incorrect

Post by rockhole » Fri Jun 10, 2011 7:39 pm

In a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by one point. The question was, where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa
>
> One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells.
> It appears that Mexicans and African Americans is not the correct answer
>
> I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
>
> A new Muslim clothing shop opened here in Lakeland, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets
>
> You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools
>
> A friend of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
> I asked, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother has a moustache"
>
> Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on FaceBook.
> I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend!!
>
> Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk ...
> "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
> To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”
>
> The red cross knocked at my door asking if I could help towards the floods in Pakistan . I said I would love to, but my hose only reaches the bottom of the driveway.
Too far for Baker now he's on to it, now he’s got it, OPEN GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Dons are in front by one point at the 8 minute mark

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Jazz_84
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Re: Politically Incorrect

Post by Jazz_84 » Fri Jun 10, 2011 7:42 pm

haha that last one is good
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robrulz5
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Re: Politically Incorrect

Post by robrulz5 » Fri Jun 10, 2011 9:07 pm

Very good!

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j-mac31
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Re: Politically Incorrect

Post by j-mac31 » Sat Jun 11, 2011 4:59 pm

:lol: :lol:
Aaron Francis is the Messiah.

Sismis
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Re: Politically Incorrect

Post by Sismis » Sun Jun 19, 2011 1:45 pm

Genuine gold! :) =D>

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rockhole
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Re: Politically Incorrect

Post by rockhole » Thu Nov 10, 2011 11:17 am

Here's a couple more.

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.
I woke this morning with a huge correction.

My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking ........ and then I saw her face.

I went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting 'paedophile' and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.
It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.

My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of matches.
His little face lit up when he tried to walk - unfortunately, I'd forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.

I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, the ungrateful bastards.
All I said was, "hurry up for goodness sake, some of us have got homes to go to!"

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen saying, 'What would you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?'
I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken please'
She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!'

Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy, he's mainly black and brown with a small patch of white, so I've named him Birmingham.

I was sitting in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail.
I looked round and this bloke shouts, 'That's just for starters!'
Too far for Baker now he's on to it, now he’s got it, OPEN GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Dons are in front by one point at the 8 minute mark

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j-mac31
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Re: Politically Incorrect

Post by j-mac31 » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:59 pm

:lol:
Aaron Francis is the Messiah.

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swoodley
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Re: Politically Incorrect

Post by swoodley » Thu Nov 10, 2011 4:38 pm

Haha :lol:
"You can quote me on this... He is gawn" - bomberdonnie re Hurley's contract status 25 February 2012

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robrulz5
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Re: Politically Incorrect

Post by robrulz5 » Thu Nov 10, 2011 9:10 pm

rockhole wrote:
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of matches.
His little face lit up when he tried to walk - unfortunately, I'd forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.

'
=D> :lol:

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