Adult Fairy Tales

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robrulz5
Essendon Legend
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Adult Fairy Tales

Post by robrulz5 » Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:00 pm

>
> CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't
>let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
>appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go
>to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a
>diaphragm."
>
> Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
>
> "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will
>turn into a pumpkin."
>
> Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m The appointed hour comes
>and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella
>shows up, looking
> love struck and very satisfied.
>
> "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm
>was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
>
> " I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
>
> The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of
>power! Tell me his name!"
>
> Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .
> Peter, Peter, something or other..."
> ___________________________________________
>
> PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
>splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit
>Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
>sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
>
> A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through
>town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
>
> Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
> _____________________________________________
>
> LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly
>the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
>throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
>
> To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic
>basket and pulled out a 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No,
>you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
> ____________________________________________
>
> MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge
>said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
>
> Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f******
>Goofy."
> ___________________________________________
> SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
>behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying,
>"Lie to me! Lie to me!"
> ___________________________________________
> Did you know ...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
> ____________________________________________
> One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to
>him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged in
>sex.
>
> "What's that?" he asked.
>
> She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in
>the trunk of a tree."
>
> Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show
>you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the
>ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
>
> Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an
>almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she
>managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
>
> "Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.

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j-mac31
Essendon Legend
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Location: The city of brotherly love (Detroit)

Re: Adult Fairy Tales

Post by j-mac31 » Wed Aug 31, 2011 2:22 pm

:lol: :shock: :lol:
Aaron Francis is the Messiah.

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Mrs Mercuri
Champion of Essendon
Posts: 7035
Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 3:12 pm
Location: Melbourne

Re: Adult Fairy Tales

Post by Mrs Mercuri » Sat Sep 03, 2011 5:07 pm

hahahaha very good!!! :lol:
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